I am the guy you saw standing in line at the grocers. I am also the guy who drove by your house the other day and watched you walk inside your house. Nice yard! You don’t know my name, but a lot has been written about what I do in the local newspapers. You know, its the kind of newspaper article you read and you shake your head about. You probably wouldn’t like me if we met.
I’m a burglar. I chose this career when I was 15 and have been steadily increasing my skill level for 29 years now. I did some time when I was a teenager, but I convinced them I wouldn’t do it any more. I don’t know much of anything except how to break into folk’s homes and how to get away without anyone finding me.
So, you might be asking yourself why I’m coming clean at this point in my life. Well, I ran into a detective who said he “had the goods on me” and I better clean up my act. I found a lawyer and he got the district attorney to do a plea bargain. My part of the bargain is I have to tell the public how I find places to rob and sort of like telling my mental process. This is so people can know how to protect themselves from people like me.
So, here goes.
Do you think I look familiar. Of course I do. I was probably at your house last week cleaning your carpets or repairing your roof. That’s how I manage to take a look around a while. While you are inside making a sandwich, I just casually walk around like I’m taking a break and discover where you keep the most valuable things. Yep. While I was delivering your new refrigerator last week, I happened to glance over at the counter and saw that lovely, new laptop you just bought.
Oh yeah. I want to thank you for letting me use your bathroom last week when I was there cleaning your gutters. Nice bathroom. While I was in there, I just released the latch on the window. Probably something you don’t check very often. The open window allowed me an easy access to your house. I had a good conversation with you that day and you told me you play bingo every Tuesday with your friends. So, guess which day I”ll try the window? Yep. Tuesday between the hours of noon and 4pm. That’s when you told me you would be gone.
I have been looking at your lawn a great deal for the last few weeks. Nice grass! Those flowers indicate you like nice things. Pretty good chance you have nice things in your house. Did you buy that statue on credit or did you pay cash! Doesn’t matter. The odds are you have even better taste for the things inside your house than you do outside. Oh yeah. The toys I see your children leaving outside are of such good quality and on the newer side. Looks like you bought them recently. I can pretty much gather they have some very expensive electronic toys inside also. Don’t all parents want their kids to have the latest and greatest electronic and computer stuff. Bingo. Keep buying those things Mr. Dad and Mrs. Mom. It’s a goldmine.
I was walking by your house the other day and I noticed a pile up of newspapers in the yard. Now, I may not be the sharpest pencil in the drawer, but even I understand that if five newspapers are on the sidewalk, you are probably not at home. Also, about a week ago I left a pizza flyer in between your screen door and your main door. I watched it every day. Did you know it took you three days to remove that flyer? What do you do all day? Not much activity around your house is there?
By the way, I actually started “casing” your house last winter. I noticed after a snow, there were no footprints from the driveway to the doors of your house. Neither were there any changes in the snow in the yard.
In regard to your burglar alarm system, you need to know what I know. Let’s say you have the locksmith or security alarm company install the control panel close to the front door for your convenience. Thanks for that! You also like decorative glass and your front door is beautiful. But, I can see through it to see if your alarm system is set. Amazing how stupid people are. You spent all that money and all I have to do is understand the alarm system, get to it within 20 seconds and disarm it. All because you had to have decorative glass to please your sense of aesthetics and your neighbors.
Here’s a tip for you. Whatever locksmith you call to install your system and install your locks, make sure they alarm the window in the kitchen above the sink. People often think that window won’t be necessary to either lock or alarm. They also think that it is not necessary to lock and alarm the upstairs windows because they don’t think a burglar will go to that kind of trouble. Hey, let me ask you a question. If I know you have a $2000.00 Mac Book Pro in your upstairs office or bedroom and I’ve been watching your house for six months, don’t you think I’m going to exert the extra energy to climb up a ladder and go through the upstairs windows. I can even just walk right out the back door wearing a set of coveralls from “Bob’s Air Conditioning” and your neighbors will never know what happened. Come on, dude. Think!
I love bad weather. People do strange stuff when they are distracted by the weather. They fumble around with all the stuff folks think they must have to make it through the day. Your fumbling around with an umbrella, a phone, atache case, bag of lunch and heaven knows what else. Your trying to listen to the weather report, get your kids in the back seat and text your Mom for the 27th time that morning. You forget to set your house alarm and you don’t even lock the front door. Yep. I love bad weather.
Let’s talk about your home safe. You know, that thing you bought off Amazon that is supposed to stay locked even during a nuclear holocaust. Well, I’m not going to try to break into it silly. I’m just going to get one of my buddies to help me and we’re going to carry it down to the garage and load it into the landscaping truck we have backed up to the garage. Piece O’ cake. That’s usually the last thing I do when I’m at a house. It takes more people, but my buddies are very accommodating.
You can stop worrying about your kids rooms. I don’t usually go in there unless I know they have some really cool electronics. But, if they are toddlers about all that’s in there is possibly an electric cradle. Not important. And while I am at it, I always check the medicine cabinet, the sock drawer, and the bedside table.
One of the things that will keep me out of your dwelling is the television. Think about it. It’s late at night, the neighborhood is totally quiet. I am sneaking about outside. I’m all excited and approach your house. Immediately I see the flickering of the television and as I get closer, I hear the sound of it. I am most likely not going to try an entry unless I have “cased” the place and know you are gone. But, if its a spur of the moment adventure, that television may just save you from filing an insurance claim for your family valuables.
Don’t ever think that just because your house key has the words, “Do Not Duplicate” written on it that I can’t get a duplicate made. All I have to do is slip the underpaid big box store employee a tener and job done!
Well, I hope some of these things helped you out a bit. Don’t think too harshly of me. We all make mistakes. Maybe you can rest easy knowing I’ll be spending the next few years locked away somewhere.
And oh, choose a good locksmith who actually knows what they are doing!
This look into the mindset and thought process of your neighborhood burglar is brought to you by Mark at http://www.24houremergencylocksmithbelfast.com.
Let’s hope you never have to experience the intrusion and trauma of having been burgled.
To keep your home and valuables safe, contact me at
Telephone Number 07866522422
Email Me: Mark@24houremergencylocksmithsbelfast.com